WHERE THE BOYS ARE ’84 (1984)
Director: Hy Averback
Scorpion Releasing

Four Penmore College girls hit Ft. Lauderdale for spring break for “animal sex and debauchery” (not really) in WHERE THE BOYS ARE, a 1984 version of the Gordon Swarthout novel (previously filmed in 1960 with Paula Prentiss and George Hamilton) out on DVD from Scorpion Releasing.

Our quartet of college coeds are not all initially planning to go WHERE THE BOYS ARE (the actual onscreen title, the ’84 seems to have been added to the publicity materials to distinguish it from the original); in fact, prim and proper Sandra (Wendy Schaal, CREATURE) is providing her car for the trip but is planning on heading on to Aruba, and studious music major Jenny (Lisa Hartman, DEADLY BLESSING) is thinking of staying on campus and studying. Carol (Lorna Luft, 54), however, has already pissed off her boyfriend Chip (Howard McGillin, COMPANY BUSINESS) by choosing Ft. Lauderdale with the girls at the last minute over their planned Vermont ski trip, and hot-to-trot Laurie (Lynn-Holly Johnson, THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS) is ready to troll the meat market in hopes of meeting “Conan”. On the road, they pick up hitchhiker Scott (Russell Todd, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2) who is on his way to Ft. Lauderdale to meet up with his band. Scott takes a liking to Jenny and invites the girls to come see his band perform at a bar only to then discover that the owner would rather use them as waiters than singers (after all, he’s got rockabilly group The Rockats on stage). To further add to Scott’s embarrassment, Sandra has arranged for music major Jenny to meet her composer cousin Camden Roxbury III (Daniel McDonald, THE FALCON AND THE SNOWMAN) and his snobby mother Barbara (Louise Sorel, TV’s DAYS OF OUR LIVES). To Scott’s dismay, Jenny takes a liking to Camden and he invites her to his upcoming concert as his special guest. After Camden and his mother leave, Laurie, Carol, and Sandra decide to get “shit-faced” while Jenny waits for Scott to get off his shift. Laurie throws herself at pile of muscles while Carol gets drunk with Scott’s bandmates, including guitarist/videographer Tony (Christopher MacDonald, HAPPY GILMORE). Sandra loses her inhibitions and starts performing a striptease on the bar, but Laurie prevents her from taking it all off. Laurie, Sandra, and Carol take off, but Laurie’s erratic driving attracts the police and she crashes into the awning outside of a hotel and she and Sandra are carted off to jail by Officer Ernie (Asher Brauner, AMERICAN EAGLE).

The next morning Carol and Jenny learn that bail will be $200 to get Laurie and Sandra out. Fortunately, they learn of the “Hot Bods” dance competition and Jenny and Scott volunteer ballet dancer Carol and Scott’s buff bandmate Jeff (Stephen Moore). Unfortunately, Carol’s boyfriend Chip and his buddy Gary (Robert Goodman, REVENGE OF THE NERDS II), have come down to Ft. Lauderdale to spy on her and arrives just in time to see her gyrating with Jeff. They argue and break up. Camdem also shows up and invites Jenny to a party that his mother is giving in his honor. Carol and Jeff lose the competition to another competitor who goes the extra mile by popping her top, and their second place price is only enough to get one of the girls out of jail. They flip a coin and Laurie wins. Officer Ernie takes pity on Sandra and releases her, and also asks her out for coffee. While walking on the beach, Laurie runs into her Conan (Frank Zagarino, BARBARIAN QUEEN) who makes an appointment with her for the next day. Sandra meets up with the girls and informs them that she has fallen in love. The problem is that her policeman beau is separated from his wife and has a kid, and she’s having doubts about become a homewrecker (the girls encourage her to go through with it). Scott arranges for a biplane to fly over the beach with the address of Barbara’s party and her dignified affair is soon crashed by a throng of horny and rowdy college students (and The Rockats again). Tony has taken a liking to Carol, and she may just return his affections when Chip takes up with Barbara’s socialite friend Maggie (Alana Stewart, NIGHT CALL NURSES) to make her jealous. Meanwhile, the Scott-Jenny-Camdem triangle comes to a head when Scott and Camden nearly get into a fight over Jenny’s honor, which has her walking out on both of them. Will Jenny chose dull, cultured Camden or fun, lively Scott? Will Carol and Chip get back together or move on? Will Sandra commit herself to a married man? Lastly, will Laurie conquer her Conan?

Ft. Lauderdale has changed a lot since the 1960 novel and film, and the viewer might wonder how a cast of TV vets and hopefuls wound up in an R-rated sex comedy. The truth is: it’s not all that naughty (Umberto Lenzi’s WELCOME TO SPRING BREAK looks considerably raunchier in comparison). As the questions at the end of the prior paragraph suggest, the film’s drama is pretty soapy and the film probably enjoyed more success in its cable runs than as a theatrical release. The film subverts some expectations. Camden may “have the personality of a cement block,” but he’s not the usual easy-to-blow-off jerk alternative to the wrong-side-of-the-tracks guy (Camden and Scott actually find some common ground before the big concert climax), but Chip doesn’t come across as sympathetic enough for Carol to drop Tony. There are some funny bits, and Luft and Schaal are consistently hilarious, but the drama is all wrapped up in a neatly contrived manner (no one really gets hurt and the life lessons are too easily learnt), but the four protagonists are attractive, likable, and played by actresses who are simultaneously fresh faces and seasoned performers. Hartman (now Lisa Hartman-Black), daughter of country singer Howard Black, was on the prime-time soap KNOTS LANDING while working on this film (she also sung the film’s theme song). Schaal, daughter of actor Richard Schaal (SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE), already had an impressive resume of TV appearances in the late seventies – including guest shots on RHODA with her then-stepmother Valerie Harper – and early eighties before this film. She later appeared in *BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED and BRIGHT LIGHTS BIG CITY, and was seemed to be a favorite of Joe Dante, appearing in INNERSPACE, THE ‘BURBS, SMALL SOLDIERS, his AMAZING STORIES episode “Boo” and TV movie RUNAWAY DAUGHTERS. Schaal’s most recent gig is the voice of the mother on the Fox cartoon AMERICAN DAD. Johnson, a professional ice skater, had already appeared in ICE CASTLES and FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. Luft, daughter of Judy Garland and producer Sidney Luft, was a singer who had already appeared on Broadway in PROMISES, PROMISES, SNOOPY, GUYS AND DOLLS, and GREASE, before appearing in the film GREASE 2. Apart from a handful of TV guest roles and appearances in MY GIANT and 54, most of her work has been on the stage. Daniel McDonald (brother of Christopher McDonald) received an “introducing” credit (he passed away in 2007 after a battle with brain cancer). Singer/songwriter Jude Cole plays one of Scott’s bandmates and sings the main title song “Hot Nights.”

Previously released on tape on VHS by 20th Century Fox offshoot Key Video, the rights to this Tri-Star release (their first) reverted to ITC Productions, whose holdings are now owned by Rank (which is why this and all other Scorpion titles from Rank will be coded for Region 1 only). The progressive, anamorphic 1.78:1 image sports bright colors, but detail is poor, some whites blow out, and the image seems to have been over-sharpened. This seems to be symptomatic of Rank’s masters rather than a fault of Scorpion (the transfers of the Rank-supplied SWEET WILLIAM and SILVER DREAM RACER also seem to come from inferior sources that have been over-sharpened). The Dolby Digital 2.0 stereo sound, on the other hand, sounds great. The score of Sylvester Levay (who had arranged Giorgio Moroder’s compositions for SCARFACE and FLASHDANCE the previous year) and the Rockats numbers keep stereo track active and the dialogue is always clear.

Scorpion’s DVD also features lengthy interviews with stars Wendy Schaal (32:33) and Russell Todd (22:09). A cheerful Schaal fondly remembers her co-stars and the production. She describes working with flamboyant producer Allan Carr (GREASE) and admits that they switched from fake marijuana to the real stuff for the beach funeral scene. She spends the later half of the interview discussing several of her other parts. Todd was discovered by Carr when he noticed Todd’s headshot on his hairstylist’s wall. He recalls Carr fondly and discusses the party-like nature of the shoot (Carr was known for his extravagant parties). He remembers the cast members fondly, although his recollection of the poster shoot conflicts with Schaal’s. He confirms that he did not sing during the finale (he was dubbed by Peter Becket of “Little River Band”). He also briefly discusses FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 – as well his experience of F13 conventions – CHOPPING MALL, and his three-year stint on the soap ANOTHER WORLD. He now owns an agency representing Steadicam operators. The film’s trailer (2:16) is also featured, but there are no trailers for other Scorpion releases. (Eric Cotenas)

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